Ever noticed that watching a superhero movie and watching everyday people do everyday deeds are complete opposites? While people tend to admire how special one superhero is, how he/she handles himself/herself during situations, how he/she stands out among the crowd, and how special he/she is to the people in the story, one might also wonder if one could be as special as the hero/heroine in the movie.On the other hand, while watching people around you do ordinary stuff such as clean the house, type on the computer, play video games, go malling around, and a whole lot more ordinary stuff, one might just get convinced that one can never be anything more than an ordinary person among a million other people, just as one spec of dust is on a dusty old desk.
Aiming for something and being ambitious about it was never as easy as it was when we were kids. In my age today, it’s difficult not to get discouraged by how people get by; how so many people with great potential wind up doing plain old common things which almost everyone in society does. It’s difficult to aim to become a man among men with almost everything, subliminal and concrete, discouraging us every step of the way. I often wonder if other people experience the same thing, when the see other people struggle through life doing boring ordinary things. I wonder if they also hear that little subconscious voice inside their head saying “if those people weren’t able to become special, how could you be any different?” and let’s not forget the subconscious voice that echoes inside our mind saying, “why are you so special, you’re just like everyone else. Go do what every other ORDINARY folk does. Stop trying to become anything special.” I often wonder how correct these subconscious voices are. Is it a crime to try to become special, to try to stand out from the crowd? Yet again, another subconscious voice would reply to my query and it would say “So many people tried to become special, and most of them have failed. Others have stood out only quite a little bit, but their names will soon be forgotten anyway. So why? Why even try?”
I remember how our parents taught us, how we should just do our best and leave God to do the rest, how all we need to do in this world we live in is to be a good person, how we should always be humble and avoid greed and gluttony. Does striving for glory or a name in history being greedy and proud? Should we always be humble enough to not let the world know our accomplishments? Should we always step aside and give chance to others and sacrifice the opportunity for ourselves? Are we being greedy if we establish ourselves as wealthy citizens of society while others suffer poverty? Should we also suffer as the rest of the country or the world suffer? Questions to this I try hard to answer, answering it with reasons like “How can I help if I have nothing to give first. How can I help others if I don’t help myself. It’s their fault that they are in their situation right now, it’s already too much that I’m trying to help them from where I stand.” but it’s always being opposed by my subconscious with reasons like “it’s plainly not fair that you sit there on your luxuriously pampered life while others have to eat trash out of the garbage.” Are we being greedy when we live a humane life while others starve to death? Does it oppose the teachings of religion to do so? Similarly, does striving to be special while others remain ordinary being greedy?
Striving to be special is so easy, watching people watch us in the process is the difficult part, in my opinion. How their stares and implications judge us in our mind’s eye. The feeling as they look at your struggle makes you feel embarrassed that you are even trying if not you feel pity from them because in the end your endeavor will most probably wind up in vain and how they make you feel that you’re being greedy in doing such things. While others might make fun of you in the process, others encourage you in a sarcastic way even though they don’t mean to do that.
Watching Batman save Gotham and watching an old man do his groceries are two completely opposite things. One makes you want to improve yourself and strive to become a somebody, a person that will be remembered, while the other one makes you feel that being special is being greedy that while some people that are older and wiser than you remain ordinary, you are trying to become something beyond that. That you are trying to surpass other people and sometimes it even screams “you’re not worthy.”
Whether it be my subconscious mind making alibis stopping me from doing something tiring yet productive, or the effect of my upbringing. One thing is for certain, I know the great people in this world started from some point and at some point in their lives they were also like us now, ordinary.
